lemonmintcoughdrops:

the-grudge-girl:

I live in Osaka, Japan and often use the subway to go to work in the morning. One day while I was waiting for the train, I noticed a homeless man standing in the corner of the subway station muttering to himself as people passed by. He was holding out a cup and seemed to be begging for spare change.

An overweight woman passed by the homeless man and I distinctly heard him say, “Pig.”

Wow, this man is insulting people and he still expects them to give him money?

Then a tall businessman went by and the man muttered, “Human.”

Human? I can’t argue with that. Obviously, he was human.

The next day, I arrived early at the subway station and had some time to kill, so I decided to stand close to the homeless man and listen to his strange mutterings.  A thin, haggard-looking man passed in front of him and I heard the homeless guy mutter, “Cow.” Cow? The man was much too skinny to be a cow. To me, he resembled a turkey or a chicken. A minute or so later, an obese man went by and the homeless man said, “Potato.” Potato? I was under the impression that he called all fat people “Pig”.

That day at work, I couldn’t stop thinking about the homeless man and his puzzling behavior. I kept trying to find some logic or pattern in what he as muttering. Perhaps he has some kind of psychic ability. In Japan many people believe in reincarnation, so maybe he knows what these people were during a previous life. I observed the man many times and began to think my theory was right. I often heard him calling people things like “Rabbit”, “Onion”, “Sheep”, or “Tomato”.

One day, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to ask him what was going on. As I walked up to him, he looked at me and said, “Bread.” I tossed some money into his cup and asked him if he had some kind of psychic ability. The man smiled and said, “Yes, indeed. It is an ability I obtained many years ago, but it’s not what you might expect. I can’t tell the future or read minds or anything like that.”

“Then what is your ability?” I asked eagerly.

“The ability is merely to know the last thing somebody ate,” he said.

I laughed because I realized he was right. He said, “Bread.” The last thing I had eaten for breakfast that day was toast. I walked away shaking my head. Of all the psychic abilities someone could have, that one must be the most useless.

HUMAN

(Reblogged from heymatryoshkat)

oitnb + text posts

(Source: poilcebox)

(Reblogged from geekgirl-to-the-rescue)

cyan-shenanigans:

briangefrich:

modestmgmtofficial:

everything’s so funny when u use the wrong measurement:

  • 5 gallons of homework
  • mouthful of lint
  • 20 degrees of facial oil
  • 7 pints of china
  • handful of fergi
  • 60 mph of dad

60 MPH OF DAD

image

(Reblogged from butamibovveredtho)

nintendumb:

imagine how radical being a pet fish is like youre just swimming around and suddenly it starts raining food

(Reblogged from megan22riley)

rock-a-little-lily said: this is me (Lily) :)

Hi there! I can stop asking strangers if they are you. They are not you. You are.

DON’T EVER CHANGE

zackisontumblr:

if you ever have children you could introduce them to people by saying hey wanna see what i made

(Reblogged from sasamiiku)

microwave-is-not-an-onomatopoeia:

sherlockedfandom:

a-detective-in-the-tardis:

sarcasticsharkz:

Forever Reblog

I love how Billie is even more into it than David

The bottom middle one though

Can we just appreciate the excellent hip movement of Freema 

(Source: favoritemovingpictures)

(Reblogged from becausebritishisbetter)

When you think you type your password in all wrong, but it logs you in anyway.

(Reblogged from sodamnrelatable)

mermaidsandmisandry:

things i dont need in my life:

  • wasps
  • those stringy things on the banana
  • commercials on youtube

(Source: mermaidsandmistletoe-archive)

(Reblogged from sasamiiku)

fuckyeahblueandorange:

hipsterinatardis:

storyofmylife.jpg

(Source: colinmania)

(Reblogged from beardedninjas)

shadowrawrs:

strawberrydaydreams:

do you ever hate someone so much but you don’t even have a valid reason

you’re just like

no

And then they give you a reason and its like

image

(Reblogged from skye-is-spooky)

Everybody is in a relationship/is in love.

sodamnrelatable:

I’m just here like:

image

(Source: thatfunnyblog)

(Reblogged from sodamnrelatable)

Best show.

(Source: saulgoodmans)

(Reblogged from kuzzbuzz-fuzzspuzz)

illkim:

I’m really good at flirting with people when I’m not interested in them

(Reblogged from skye-is-spooky)
lulz-time:

itsvondell:
Now I know what true power feels like


This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

lulz-time:

itsvondell:

Now I know what true power feels like

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

(Reblogged from rs-4-life)